I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion (What stage of capitalism is this?)

Scientists just named a newly discovered beetle after Leonardo DiCaprio. Unfortunately, it froze in the ocean after the beetle’s girlfriend wouldn’t share part of a leaf — even though there was CLEARLY room on the leaf for both of them. --Jimmy Fallon

"After bin Laden was killed, the FBI updated its most wanted list. So on behalf of everyone here, I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion." –Jimmy Fallon

It was almost 90 degrees in New York City today! It was so hot, President Trump’s lawyer spent the day fanning himself with hush money. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”