Barkeep, give me a shot of whole milk. Just leave the whole carton. (a monopoly on truth)

“Buying a gift for a dog is stressful. I mean, seriously, there's nothing more depressing than watching your dog open a present then fake wagging his tail.” —Jimmy Fallon

“According to a survey, during the holidays, most dog owners buy a gift for their pet. Yeah. And then there's the people that are too lazy to shop and just give their dog cash.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today President Biden hosted a ceremony on the South Lawn to sign a bill that mandates federal recognition for same-sex marriages. When he heard the news, Mike Pence was like, ‘Barkeep, give me a shot of whole milk. Just leave the whole carton.’” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”