I believe his job was to remove all the locks from the dressing room doors (negative 3 percent/Also, you drink it now)

Don Jr.'s emails were with British music publicist Rob Goldstone. He met the Trumps at the 2013 Miss Universe pageant in Moscow. I believe his job was to remove all the locks from the dressing room doors. –Stephen Colbert

There's so much surplus meat that pork processors recently have reduced some hours at plants, and some plants even have turned away hogs. Ugh, can you imagine being a hog trying to get past the velvet rope at the slaughterhouse? "Come on, man, my cousin's already in there. He's a giant hog. Man, this is whack, I cleaned all the mud off myself for nothing." All of this surplus meat has led to a desperate new ad campaign: "Beef: It's what's for dinner. And breakfast, and lunch. Also, you drink it now." --Stephen Colbert

In the key swing states of Ohio and Pennsylvania Trump is currently getting zero percent support from black voters. Obviously every poll has a margin of error, so it can actually be negative 3 percent. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”