And instead of condiments, every one of those comes with a cry for help (you’re carrying something)

“Everyone is talking about the Supreme Court after they made some pretty major decisions over the last few days, and let me just sum it up for you: They basically said whether it’s a gun or a baby, you’re carrying something.” —Jimmy Fallon

A Minor League Baseball team in Pennsylvania is selling a hot dog wrapped in cotton candy topped with Nerds candies. And instead of condiments, every one of those comes with a cry for help. --Jimmy Fallon

In a speech last night, Trump said sometimes you have to toot your own horn because nobody else is going to do it. The last time someone else tooted Trump's horn it cost him $130,000. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”