“As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, as if things weren’t already insane, the country is now being invaded by something called murder hornets. These are hornets, they’re two inches long, and they kill people and bees. So, looks like we’re never leaving our houses again.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Two murder hornets were spotted in Washington State driving a red Ford F-250 north on Interstate 5. An official from the Washington State Department of Agriculture said the hornets are probably not going to murder someone, so don’t panic. OK, great. When I hear ‘probably not going to murder,’ I panic. It’s just how I’m wired. ” — Jimmy Kimmel
“Right now, 2020 Mother Nature is out of control. A killer virus is one thing, but murder hornets? Sounds like someone is just combining the scariest words. I mean, what’s next? Nunchuck wolves?” —Trevor Noah
“Honestly, these murder hornets just sound like psychos. They cut off the heads of bees and they mash up the thorax into a meatball and fly it back to feed their larvae. I thought only Rudy Giuliani fed his family that way.” —Trevor Noah
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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