“On Wednesday, Kevin Durant of the Brooklyn Nets revealed he tested positive, which means players from at least the Jazz, Pistons and Nets have the virus. It’s going around to all the NBA teams – except the Knicks, because not even corona wants to be on the Knicks.” —Trevor Noah
“The coronavirus continues to be everywhere. West Virginia has become the 50th state with a confirmed case. So we’re all in this together – no red states or blue states, just 50 anxious, pale states. This is a crisis that we have to face together by staying as far apart as possible.” —Stephen Colbert
“Trump is calling the coronavirus the ‘Chinese virus’. You know, they say a great way to prevent a virus from spreading is to name it something racist – that way they keep it on the down-low. I don’t know why he does this. Actually, I do know why he does this – it’s to deflect blame away from him. It’s like when he started calling Eric and Don Jr. the Ivana kids.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Right now, we are basically living through a disaster movie in which the president is being played by Gary Busey.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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