After yesterday’s vote approving articles of impeachment President Trump could become the first president to face impeachment while also running for re-election. Because only democrats could figure out a way to lose twice in the same year. --Colin Jost
The Scripps National Spelling Bee has announced a change in next years contest after this years spelling bee ended in an eight way tie. The new change. Knives. --Colin Jost
Harvey Weinstein has reached a $25 Million settlement with the women accusing him of sexual misconduct. But in order to get the money, the women have to grab it out of his bathrobe pocket. --Michael Che
For the first time in the history of Wheel of Fortune, the game show was hosted by Vanna White. There were no survivors. --Michael Che
Thousands of what are being called Penis Fish have washed up on the shore of a California beach. Not only that, one kid said he even found one in his mother’s night stand. --Colin Jost
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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