"Donald Trump has a great campaign slogan: 'A complex world demands complex hair.'" –David Letterman
"Hosni Mubarak was arrested near the Red Sea. They found him in hiding with his two sons, Hosni W. and Jeb." –David Letterman
"They were interrogating Mubarak and he had a heart attack. There's nothing more stressful than being an out-of-work dictator." –David Letterman
"A huge Air France air bus hit a smaller plane on the runway at JFK. The collision was so loud it woke up one of the air traffic controllers." –David Letterman
"Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty announced that he will seek the Republican presidential nomination. He has a slogan to win over the Republicans: 'Vote for me, I'm not Trump.'" –Craig Ferguson
"Canada may postpone an important political debate because it may conflict with a hockey game. An entire nation is willing to put democracy on hold to watch burly guys smash each other in the face. That is awesome." –Craig Ferguson
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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