“Although the G-7 summit happens in June — there’s a good chance Trump might not be president anymore by then. By the way, wouldn’t that be — this would be the greatest scenario: Trump has to watch President Pence chatting it up with the world leaders while he guzzles Diet Cokes in the clubhouse.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“Trump took a victory lap and said the deal never would never have been made without him. And he’s right — the deal would never have been made without him, because before he pulled the troops, there was no fire to cease.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“But meanwhile, this U.S. exit from Syria was so sudden and hasty, we actually had to bomb one of our own bases to destroy the ammunition that was left behind. Thanks to our genius commander in chief, the U.S. military is now bombing itself. And it was a success, too. We totally caught ourselves by surprise.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“So all the bad stuff they’ve been saying the president didn’t do, now they’re saying he did it and he does it all the time? The defense has gone from ‘If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit’ to ‘Give me back my glove!’” --Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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