No One Leaves This Room Motherf----- (I don't recall)

"If the world's off track, O.J. must come back. But is it too late? Would a media so focused on elevating national discourse in this election cycle even notice? [on screen: multiple news reports that 'whatever happens in Vegas doesn't necessarily stay in Vegas']. You did it, O.J. You're a uniter. By the way, Las Vegas is now changing its slogan to 'Las Vegas: No One Leaves This Room Motherf-----.'" --Jon Stewart

"In other news, Friday marked Alberto Gonzales' last day as attorney general. On his last day, Gonzales received a full-scale send-off from whatever souls happened to survive his stewardship at the Justice Department [on screen: Acting dir. Michael Sullivan saying, 'When you think of the attorney general, three words come to mind']. Three words come to mind. I know! [on screen: Gonzales saying, 'I don't recall']. I don't recall. No, that's not it. But it will come to me, Alberto. Oh, it's coming to me. Three words [on screen: Sullivan saying, 'Discipline, duty and honor']. No, that's not it. I guess I don't recall." --Jon Stewart

    

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