It’s the day that all Americans but one release their tax records (U.S.S. Metaphor)

Today is Tax Day. It’s the day that all Americans but one release their tax records. –Conan O’Brien

President Trump has begun hiring more people from President George W. Bush’s administration. Trump specifically asked for the Iraq guy and the Katrina guy. “I want those guys, they’re the best.” –Conan O’Brien

Several days ago, President Trump said an American aircraft carrier was heading towards North Korea, but it turns out it was sailing in the opposite direction. It’s the aircraft carrier the U.S.S. Metaphor. –Conan O’Brien

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