Today the East Coast was hit with a
major snowstorm and it forced New York City public schools to close. When she
heard that, new Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was like, “Hey, my plan’s
working already.” –Jimmy Fallon
Nordstrom’s stock went up after
President Trump attacked them on Twitter for dropping Ivanka’s clothing line. Then
RadioShack said, “Would you mind attacking us?” –Jimmy Fallon
Shaquille O’Neal says that he’s trying
to eat healthier. He’s cut soda, bread, sandwiches, and fast food out of his
diet. When asked what he’s eating instead he said, “Mostly trees.” –Jimmy
Fallon
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