Santorum won't even let the UPS guy handle his package

“This guy is really conservative. In fact, Rick Santorum is so conservative he won't even go down on an escalator.” –Jay Leno 

“ Santorum is so conservative he wants ballpark franks to stop plumping when you cook 'em. That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno 

“In fact, Santorum is so conservative he won't even let the UPS guy handle his package. That's how conservative.” –Jay Leno 

John Hulse painting