The only candidate who is both pro-life and pro-Megadeth

“Rick Santorum picked up an endorsement from the lead singer of the heavy-metal band Megadeth. Santorum is the only candidate who is both pro-life and pro-Megadeth.” –Conan O’Brien



“After disputes over its nuclear program, Iran is threatening to stop exporting oil. Which means the U.S. may have to tap into its backup reserve: Mitt Romney’s hair.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Mitt Romney and his wife wanted to spend a nice quiet Valentine's night just by themselves. So they went to one of Mitt's campaign rallies.” –Jay Leno