For an extra $20 they'll change positions

"Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions." –David Letterman



"People say that Rick Perry may have been drunk at an appearance. Well, take a look at those poll numbers. I'd be drunk too." –David Letterman 



"Governor Chris Christie wants to extend the seven train to New Jersey. When asked what's wrong with the Lincoln Tunnel, Christie said, 'You try squeezing through that thing.'" –Conan O'Brien 



"Herman Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza; and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian." -- Stephen Colbert

John Hulse painting