These are all bad examples (Penguins are probably delicious)

"It was Game 1 of the World Series tonight. The Kansas City Royals haven't been in the World Series since 1985. Things were very different back then. Tensions were high with Russia, Congress was locked up in partisan bickering, my career was in the dumps. These are all bad examples." –Craig Ferguson

"Google has announced that they’re going to give free Internet access in airports all across the country. It’s fantastic! Up until now, the only way to see something pornographic at an airport was to follow a senator into the bathroom." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”