Hey, I'm the one who started both those wars, I should have won the prize (First off, nobody drives to Hawaii)

"It's interesting. During his speech, President Obama spoke about the difficulty of accepting a Peace Prize while we're fighting two different wars. And President Bush got really upset. He said, 'Hey, I'm the one who started both those wars, I should have won the prize." –Jay Leno

"According to CNN, 200,000 Americans are signed up for a one-way trip to Mars to colonize Mars. Unfortunately, none of them are Kardashians." –Jay Leno

"The price of gasoline, oh, my God, it's going crazy. In Hawaii, now over $4 a gallon. Again, President Bush, I don't think he understands the problem. Like today, he says, 'First off, nobody drives to Hawaii.'" –Jay Leno

"A South Carolina panel has voted not to impeach Republican Governor Mark Sanford. A fellow Republican, one of the panel chairmen, a guy named Tim Harrison, said, 'We can not impeach for arrogance or hypocrisy.' Well, of course not. There'd be no politicians left if you did that." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”