I'm joking she loves it (and we call that one our favorite)

How's this for crazy? Though we've been together eight years my girlfriend still gets upset if I use her toothbrush. That's crazy isn't it when you consider how intimate we've been. And if you can tell me a better way to get dog shit out of sneakers I'd love to fucking hear about it. --Jimmy Carr

I just don't understand it why would you become an Islamic fundamentalist suicide bomber on the off chance you might get 72 virgins when you die. Become a Catholic priest and have them now. --Jimmy Carr

I was chatting to a guy at a party and he asked what does your girlfriend do? I said anything but anal. I'm joking she loves it. --Jimmy Carr

Some women worry about one breast being smaller than the other. But focus on the positive. One of them is bigger, and we call that one our favorite. --Jimmy Carr

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”