this one was Ted on arrival (Oh, can I help?)

February 2021

On Saturday, Ted Cruz posted photos of himself handing out bottled water with the hashtag ‘Texas strong.’

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure we should get our food and water during a crisis from the same people who spent a week shitting their pants when a bunch of Redditors drove up the stock price of a video game store. If you could wreak havoc on the markets by telling your internet buds to buy stock in Blockbuster as a goof, maybe don’t put those same markets in charge of, I don’t know, electricity?” —Seth Meyers

“Ted Cruz is the husband who sits on his couch watching football all day, then sees his wife unloading a car full of groceries, waits until there’s one bag left in the trunk, then goes outside and says, ‘Oh, can I help?’” —Seth Meyers

“Nevertheless, Meyers continued, conservative media has found a way to blame the crisis on its favorite bogeymen: the progressive congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the Green New Deal, which has not been implemented on either the federal level or in Texas. The Fox News host Tucker Carlson went as far as blaming the whole power grid collapse on windmills (which account for a fraction of Texas’s energy). Seriously, could you imagine how insane you have to be to blame windmills and the Green New Deal for a power outage in Texas? That’s like blaming Boston clam chowder for the smell in New Jersey. These guys really expect us to believe AOC snuck into the Houston oilfields in the middle of the night and replaced all the derricks with vegan food trucks?” —Seth Meyers

“The Ted Cruz Cancún PR debacle is only getting funnier. Here is a picture of Ted Cruz loading a 12-pack of water into a car in what appears to be an empty parking lot, patting a maskless woman on the shoulder. Like many of Ted Cruz’s attempts to mimic human behavior, this one was Ted on arrival.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”