It’s the same reason, ‘Did I do that’ was Urkel’s catchphrase and not O.J.’s (what does Trump think he’s being impeached for?)

February 2021

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene apologized for her extensive conspiracy theories saying, ‘nobody’s perfect.’ Yeah, I don’t think perfect is the standard we were holding you too. We would just settle for not violently insane. Nobody’s perfect is a cutesy little phrase you say when you accidentally mess up a lunch order. It doesn’t really apply when you accuse kids of making up a mass shooting. It’s the same reason, ‘Did I do that’ was Urkel’s catchphrase and not O.J.’s. —Colin Jost

Trump will be defended at his impeachment trial by the lawyers who refused to prosecute Bill Cosby and agreed to represent Jeffrey Epstein before his death. Which raises the question, what does Trump think he’s being impeached for? —Colin Jost

A Florida man spent lockdown building a roller coaster for his children in the back yard. ‘Wow, I’d love to see it,' said Child Services. —Colin Jost