“President Trump tweeted ‘congratulations to Fox News host Greg Gutfeld for ratings which beat no talent Stephen Colbert, nice guy Jimmy Fallon, and wacko ‘last placer’ Jimmy Kimmel’. Our president called me a ‘Wacko last placer.’ Maybe he wasn’t actually talking about me. I think maybe this was another typo situation. I think what he meant to tweet was, ‘I am completely devastated by the loss of life caused by this insidious virus. My thoughts are with the families of those who have passed. I pledge to spend every waking moment working to make sure our medical workers have the support they need and every American has access to tests. p.s. Congrats to Greg Gutfeld!’ That’s better, right?” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Trump does seem to be familiar with all the late-night shows. I’ve heard that if you snort enough Adderall, you can watch four of them at once.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Trump also visited a Honeywell mask factory on Tuesday, where he declined to wear a mask despite signs on the walls asking everyone to do so. And I love that they didn’t turn the volume on the Guns N’ Roses down even one notch for the president. I can think of no better metaphor for this presidency than Donald Trump not wearing a face mask to a face mask factory while the song ‘Live and Let Die’ blares in the background.’” —Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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