He's hoping it's the one on which she gives away 14 trillion dollars (talk dirty to you)

"President Obama is slated to appear on one of Oprah's last shows. He's hoping it's the one on which she gives away 14 trillion dollars." –Conan O'Brien 

"Critics say it's illegal for Donald Trump to run for president while hosting a TV show. It's also illegal to run for president if your hair wasn't born in this country." –Conan O'Brien 

"This is weird. The state of Texas has put webcams on the Mexican border so people can sit at their home computers and look for illegal aliens trying to cross into the U.S. The website is free, but it costs $5 if you want the illegal aliens to talk dirty to you." --Conan O'Brien

"Even though it's a little bit controversial, President Bush supports the effort to make English our national language. The president says making English our national language is not 'discriminatious.'" --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”