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Wednesday, December 25, 2019

He just ran out of conspiracy theories (That's change I can believe in)


"A lot of people wonder what a government shutdown would be like. I think a lot more people wonder what a government running properly would be like." –Jay Leno

"President Obama said today that Americans are just going to have to get used to higher gas prices. To which Dick Cheney said, 'That's change I can believe in. I like this Obama guy.'" –Jay Leno

"Glenn Beck announced that he is ending his daily show on Fox News. He didn't want to end it. He just ran out of conspiracy theories." –Jay Leno

"One of President Obama’s oldest friends has just been arrested for soliciting a prostitute. You can tell he’s a friend of Obama’s. Although he hired the prostitute, his grandchildren are going to have to pay for it." –Jay Leno

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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