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Thursday, April 13, 2017

A new line of greeting cards sure to get you out of just about any jam (Honey, I'm home)



"Obviously the big story today is still Governor Eliot Spitzer's involvement with a prostitution ring. We're not going to be talking about it on this show. The man said he was sorry and I believe him. He is obviously sorry. I would like to thank the governor on behalf of husbands everywhere. It's not often that you walk in the door and say, 'Honey, I'm home and I didn't go to a prostitute,' and that gets you a hug. 

Guys, from now on it doesn't matter how many birthdays, anniversaries or children's names you forget, as long as you don't go to prostitutes, you're doing pretty good. And to capitalize on that sentiment, I've created a new line of Spitzer-inspired greeting cards sure to get you out of just about any jam. 

First up, 'Happy Belated Birthday! I don't go to prostitutes.' 'Happy Flag Day! I didn't pay a woman to have sex on a flag.' Finally, 'Okay, I do go to prostitutes, but I won't ask you to stand next to me while I admit it.'" --Stephen Colbert



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