"Despite
the fact that the Ukraine has been all over the news for the past few weeks, a
survey found that 64 percent of U.S. students still couldn't find Ukraine on a
map. Said Vladimir Putin, 'Soon nobody will.'" –Seth Meyers
"After
hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell
me who the other nominees are — and I will eliminate them.'" –Conan
O'Brien
"Obama's new budget actually includes a proposal to phase
out pennies and nickels to make the government more efficient – and to make
grandparents better tippers." –Jimmy Fallon
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