His wife's vote can be overruled by a simple majority of...

"A man in Ohio has been calling women posing as a doctor and asking intimate questions about how they give themselves breast exams. Then he ends with, 'Vote for Herman Cain.'" –Seth Meyers



"Herman Cain is scheduled to make a big announcement tomorrow. He says if his wife wants him to quit the race, he will quit the race. However, his wife's vote can be overruled by a simple majority of his mistresses." –Craig Ferguson 



"'Americas Most Wanted' used to be on FOX, but it was canceled because executives at FOX realized the show actually helped people." –Craig Ferguson



"I think Herman Cain is getting a little desperate. He said if his wife forgives him, he'll throw in free bread sticks, buffalo wings and a 2-liter of Pepsi." –Jay Leno  



John Hulse photography