I hope they got rid of the scary thing under my bed (retirement alcohol)

"President Bush's childhood home was turned into a museum. After hearing about it, President Bush said, 'I hope they got rid of the scary thing under my bed.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The president of Venezuela said maybe we need to move the U.N. out of the United States. Afterwards, a confused President Bush said, 'But then it would just be the ited States'." --Conan O'Brien

"To be fair, we are getting Americans out. Earlier today, 1,000 Americans were evacuated from Lebanon aboard a cruise ship called the 'Orient Queen.' The evacuation should go twice as fast once the 'Orient Queen' is joined by its sister ship, the 'Asian Flamer.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”