I want my data back, data back, data back... (Slappuccino)

A coffee company has recalled 65,000 cans of coffee beans over concerns that opening them could cause the lids to fly off and hit people in the face. Although, it saves you a step. Usually you have to drink the coffee to wake up in the morning, but this will take care of that. The coffee company is really trying to put a positive spin on the story. They're marketing this as their brand-new drink, the “Slappuccino.” --James Corden

Today it was announced that a Russian man will be the recipient of the world's first head transplant. It sounds like they're going to put a new head on his body, but they're not. They're going to take his head and put it on another body and hope that it doesn't reject it. It sounds like there are a million things that could go wrong. But it's actually a billion. –James Corden

Another major corporation has been hacked. Customer information has been compromised in a recent data breach at the restaurant chain Chili's. Chili's customers were furious, they were like, "I want my data back, data back, data back..." --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”