I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening, I was ordering 700 rolls of toilet paper – out of concern, not panic (Atomic Ghost Pepper Extra Chunky Variant)

November 2021

“The new Omicron variant, which, according to some scientists seems to be more transmissible, though cases appear to be mild. So we’re grading the variants on the salsa scale now. In that case, I look forward to the Atomic Ghost Pepper Extra Chunky Variant.” —Stephen Colbert

“In response to the variant, Joe Biden attempted to calm the public on Monday, calling Omicron ‘a cause for concern, not a cause for panic’. What? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening, I was ordering 700 rolls of toilet paper – out of concern, not panic.” —Stephen Colbert

“President Biden also promised to unveil a new strategy this week outlining how we’re going to fight Covid this winter, ‘not with shutdowns or lockdowns, but with more widely spread vaccinations, boosters, testing and more’. And more? Can you be more specific than ‘and more’?” Is this the health of our nation or the weird kitchenware and food section of TJ Maxx – ‘Don’t panic folks, we’ll treat this with vaccinations, boosters, testing, a journal that says ‘hope’ on the front, a broken egg timer and a bottle of what appears to be maple syrup that has no label on it.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”