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Friday, February 2, 2018

He's still mad at Abraham Lincoln for stealing his girlfriend in middle school (happy fans or sad fans)



President Trump today said that Sen. Orrin Hatch called him the greatest president in the history of our country. I guess Hatch is still mad at Abraham Lincoln for stealing his girlfriend in middle school. --Seth Meyers

The Super Bowl is this Sunday between the New England Patriots, and the Philadelphia Eagles. The game will determine whether Philadelphia is burned to the ground by happy fans or sad fans. --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.

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