"Queen Elizabeth met the royal baby yesterday. The baby cried, so Queen Elizabeth explained, 'You'll never have to work a day in your life.'" –Conan O'Brien
"The royal baby has a name now: George Alexander Louis. George is not the king yet. So for now, we just address him as 'Boy George.'" –Craig Ferguson
"Some
jackass vandalized the Lincoln Memorial. Who hates the Lincoln Memorial?
Democrats love it because it honors the man who freed the slaves. And
Republicans love it because it just sits there and does nothing." –Bill
Maher
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