"This
day marks the 42nd anniversary of the war on drugs. Today our partners in
Mexico observed it with a moment of silence followed by hours of
laughter." –Jay Leno
"We're going to build 7,000 miles of new fencing and add
20,000 more – in addition to the 20,000 we have – border agents, enough to put
one every 250 feet. They said if this does not keep Arnold Schwarzenegger from
impregnating the help, nothing will." –Bill Maher
"I
challenge The Onion to come up with a headline, in their brilliant but crazy
worldview, that is more weird than the real one: ‘Republican Congressman
Believes in Masturbating Fetuses.'" –Bill Maher
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