Stephen Colbert as Trump: “I’m not the racist, he’s the racist. After all, I wouldn’t have said anything racist at all if he was white!” --Stephen Colbert
“We can’t determine the value of Mueller’s testimony by ratings! If that were the case, ‘Avengers: Endgame’ would be president of the United States. It would be nice. It might be nice. I’d go for that. At least Thanos cares about the environment. He’s got some plan!” --Stephen Colbert
“It’s hard to sum up what happened tonight, but most of tonight was a bunch of guys with no chance to win the Democratic nomination yelling Republican talking points at the people who can. It was like watching the seven dwarves offering Snow White a poison apple.” --Stephen Colbert

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