President Bush was not at the Republican convention due to a disaster (backward march)

President Bush was not at the Republican convention due to a disaster: his presidency." --Jay Leno

At one point, Charlie Gibson asked Sarah Palin about the Bush doctrine, but she didn't know what it was. But, you know, to be fair, even Bush doesn't know what the Bush doctrine is." --Jay Leno

     

"This Taepo-Dong could be horrific. Millions could die from this Dong. A veritable Dong-ocaust. By creating lethal weapons with very silly names, they're making their growing military might seem hilariously innocuous. And you know our president -- you mention Taepo Dong at a national security briefing, and he's taking a two-hour ride on the giggle train. It's not just the Taepo-Dong. Did you know Kim's working on neutron explosive that burns you from the inside out, leaving you a charred husk of flesh? It's called Long Fat ****. Worst of all, when it blows up, it spreads a deadly biochemical cream of sum yung guy." --Daily Show correspondent Rob Corddry

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