rolling doubles (New pants)

A Kansas man received stitches over the weekend after he was hit by his cousin's girlfriend during a game of Monopoly. The girl was going to spend the night in jail, but got out of it by rolling doubles. --Seth Meyers

And finally, a man in England claims that his penis swelled to the size of a wine bottle recently after fracturing his urethra. When asked how he was treating it, the man said, "New pants." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”