He’s changing his slogan from “drain the swamp” to “fill ’er up!” (the fourth most popular cruise)

On Twitter President Trump announced his nominee for secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, CEO of a small mom-and-pop business called Exxon Mobil. He announced he’s changing his slogan from “drain the swamp” to “fill ’er up!” –Jimmy Kimmel

Ted Cruz has been moving up in the polls but still is only the fourth most popular cruise behind Tom, Penelope, and Carnival. –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen doesn’t have to report to prison until March 6th, so he is available to host the Oscars. --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

These two have called it quits more times than Brett Favre (Good luck in Afghanistan!)

"It was announced that Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have broken up. These two have called it quits more times than Brett Favre." –Jay Leno

"Nancy Pelosi said that when it comes to cleaning up government, the Democrats have drained the swamp. The only problem with that is what's left after you drain the swamp: snakes everywhere." –Jay Leno

"President Obama announced his plan to remove all combat troops from Iraq by the end of August. So thank you to all the men and women serving in Iraq and 'Good luck in Afghanistan!'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

But this counts for birthday and Christmas (his signature looks like a failed lie-detector test)

But Trump was threatening to shut down the government if Congress didn't give him $5 billion for a border wall. But now he says that he'll get the money somewhere else. Or as one guy in Moscow put it, "Ugh, I'll get my checkbook. But this counts for birthday and Christmas." --Jimmy Fallon

And get this -- On Sunday, Rudy Giuliani said that Trump never signed anything about building a Trump Tower in Moscow. But last night, CNN got a letter about the project with Trump's signature. It's not a good sign for Trump that his signature looks like a failed lie-detector test. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mexico said they wouldn’t pay for it (I AM The Swamp!)

Today, Trump tweeted that the media is out of control, saying that they will do or say anything to get attention. Then he honked the horn of an 18-wheeler, posed for a picture with Kid Rock, and accused Obama of spying on him from his microwave. –Jimmy Fallon

President Trump canceled his White House Cinco de Mayo celebration. He made the decision after Mexico said they wouldn’t pay for it. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Of course in the U.K., genitals are called “crisps.” (Nein)

A campaign in the U.K. is encouraging parents to teach their children the accurate words for their genitals from a young age. Of course in the U.K., genitals are called “crisps.” –Seth Meyers

According to a new report, German Chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with European countries. She started to lose it around “nein.” –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

JOKES: All in favor of disbanding the House Ethics Committee (the Cindy Brady of South Carolina)

"It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy." --Jay Leno

"You see Barack Obama at that rally surrounded by all those Kennedys? Man, I couldn't tell if he was running for president or bartender." --Jay Leno

"On the heels of the Florida results, both parties have lost a mainstream candidate. First up, South Carolina's favorite son, well, I guess in the primary there second favorite son. Obama won South Carolina and then there was their favorite daughter Hillary. I guess what I'm saying is, John Edwards turns out to be the Cindy Brady of South Carolina." --Jon Stewart

the 6,000 ancient Jews who voted for Pat Buchanan (Drain the Swamp)

"Rudy Giuliani and Mike Huckabee are both asking their staffs to work without pay. They want them to work without pay to help them get across their message, 'I'm the best one to fix the economy.'" --Jay Leno

"A new government study says that millions and millions of dollars of federal money is being wasted every year on frivolous and unnecessary projects. This study was two years in the making, and cost $22 million." --Jay Leno

"In a wide ranging interview, Mayor Giuliani explained why he believes Florida was the truly bellweather state [on screen: Giuliani saying, 'This is the state that determined our president in the year 2000. So it's a state that is very politically aware']. True. There are few voters as politically aware as these 6,000 ancient Jews who voted for Pat Buchanan." --Stephen Colbert

She means a metaphorical wall of silence and resentment (Drain the Swamp)

"John McCain came in second in Michigan. There was one embarrassing moment yesterday when McCain spoke at a polling place that was also a funeral home. I don't want to say McCain looked old but when he tried to leave the funeral home, he had to show ID." --Jay Leno

  

"Senator Hillary Clinton said she is in favor of building a wall between Mexico and the United States. After hearing this, former President Bill Clinton said, 'She means a metaphorical wall of silence and resentment. Trust me.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called North Korea's leader Kim Jung Il a pervert. In response, Kim Jung Il said 'I dare her to put on a leather mask and say that to my ass.'" --Conan O'Brien

All in Favor of disbanding the House Ethics Committee? (Drain the Swamp)

"Hillary Clinton blasted the vice president today for failing to disclose all the facts. She wants Dick Cheney to give exact details. You know like, "How do you shoot someone and make it look like an accident?" --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney gave an interview to Fox News. Some are accusing Fox of giving softball questions. My answer to that is, 'Well, does a vice president shoot in the woods?'" --David Letterman

"Evil Democrat Empire? I got news for you, if we're going to do the Star Wars analogy, the Democrats are, at best, Ewoks." --Jon Stewart, on a Republican spoof video comparing Democrats to the evil Empire in Star Wars

Pope Francis is missing (Drain the Swamp)

In Beijing, because pollution has reached 35 times the safety level, children have been ordered to stay home. This could mean a delay for anyone who ordered a new iPhone. –Conan O’Brien

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"It looks like the Democratic field really starting to get narrowed down. For Democrats, it's going to be Barack Obama versus  Hillary. So, it's a black man or a white woman. You know, this is the same decision Michael Jackson has to make every morning of his life." --Jay Leno

Trump announced he’s changing his slogan from “drain the swamp” to “fill ’er up!”

Donald Trump met with Kanye West today — what an amazing thing to see. Our next two presidents side by side. –Jimmy Kimmel

Kanye needs to stay close to Donald Trump because at this point he’s the only person who can afford to buy his sneakers. –Jimmy Kimmel

On Twitter Trump announced his nominee for secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, CEO of a small mom-and-pop business called Exxon Mobil. He announced he’s changing his slogan from “drain the swamp” to “fill ’er up!” –Jimmy Kimmel

Jean-Georges could be French for Waffle House (care to start with some priebus?)

If are you having trouble getting in the Christmas spirit you might want to move to Japan, where Dominos is doing a promotion where they say your pizza will be delivered to your door step via reindeer. Even Santa Claus was like, “I don’t believe this is real.” –James Corden

Trump and Romney last night were dining at a four-star French restaurant called Jean-Georges. Sounds fancy, but Jean-Georges could be French for “Waffle House.” –Stephen Colbert

And they were joined by Reince Priebus, who is Trump’s chief of staff and not, as you may think, an item on the menu. “Would you care to start with some priebus? It has been lightly reince’d.” –Stephen Colbert

The billionaire of the people ordered young garlic soup with thyme and sautéed frogs legs. I thought he said he was going to drain the swamp, not eat its contents. –Stephen Colbert

Maybe Trump, (Drain the Swamp) poem

Maybe Trump, (Drain the Swamp)

Maybe President Trump

will want to be a great

president?

Maybe Donald,

Mr. President will want to be

remembered more like

John F. Kennedy

than

George W. Bush.

Do us a favor, Donald.

Drain the swamp.

Get Bernie involved.

Help kids with their student loan debt.

Make it easier for them

to go to college.

Healthcare for every US citizen.

Drain the swamp. Not fill UP the Swamp.

NOT, Replenish the Swamp..

Say you will get money (bribes)

out of politics,

then actually do something real

about it,

protect the Native Americans

at Dakota,

and for God’s sake raise the minimum wage.

No tax cuts for wage stealers.

You want eight more years.

A legacy worth dying

and living for.

By the way, this list.

is just the beginning…

Is it Camelot 2

or

Snake Oil.

PS. I think people are taking

bets on how many lobbyists

you and your people will hire

as part of your team.

Drain the Swamp, remember?

Anybody from Goldman Sachs,

Wall Street in your cabinet?

You wouldn’t hire anyone

who helped Wall Street and the banks

crash the economy

that cost the taxpayers

14 TRILLION

and counting..

You wouldn’t hire those people would you?

Drain the Swamp?

Mr. President?

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html