"President Obama said today that Americans are just going to have to get used to higher gas prices. To which Dick Cheney said, 'That's change I can believe in. I like this Obama guy.'" –Jay Leno
"Glenn Beck announced that he is ending his daily show on Fox News. He didn't want to end it. He just ran out of conspiracy theories." –Jay Leno
"I guess the Secret Service had a little scare yesterday. For a couple of hours, they could not find President Bush. Turns out he was just hiding behind General Petraeus." --Jay Leno"President Bush raised $27 million for the Republican Party. A record at a fundraiser. Interesting pricing at the event, like for $2,500 you got dinner. $25,000 got your picture taken with the president. And for $250,000 you got your license plate made by a former Republican official now in jail." --Jay Leno
"Republicans in the Senate have announced they are moving on from gay marriage to a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. We would join the only three other countries who have banned flag burning: China, Cuba and Iran. We can stand with our brothers on this issue." --Jay Leno
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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