"If the government shuts down, 800,000 federal workers could get a call saying they're 'non-essential.' Wouldn't it be weird if 800,000 people got the same call that I get from my dad every day?" –Conan O'Brien
"If there's a shutdown, federal meat inspections may be delayed. In other words, Taco Bell will not be affected." –Conan O'Brien
"The White House confirmed that President Obama got a letter from Moammar Gadhafi. They wouldn't confirm the contents of the letter, but it did end with the question, 'Do you like me? Check yes, no, or maybe.'" –Conan O'Brien
"This week a new oil field was discovered under the Gulf of Mexico that could boost the U.S.' oil and gas reserves by 50%. Finally some good news for the oil companies." --Conan O'Brien
"Earlier today President Bush made a surprise visit to Baghdad. Apparently, the president was confused by all of the destruction, because the first thing he said was 'Hello Detroit!'" --Conan O'Brien
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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