It made it easier to meet goats (Oh, Canada. Oh, oh, Canada!)

"Osama bin Laden has released yet another video. ... Remember he had a gray beard before? In his new video, he has a black beard. A lot of people say the reason he dyed his beard black was it made it easier to meet goats." --Jay Leno

"There were signs that Senator Craig was into this kind of thing, like today his wife said during sex instead of yelling out her name he'd yell 'complete stranger in the stall next to me!'" --Jay Leno

"The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada's Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. It's gotta be awkward dating a fellow diplomat. Like today, MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her. Actually, I heard that she was trying to learn the Canadian national anthem. They were alone in a room and she was heard going, 'Oh, Canada. Oh, oh, Canada.'." --Jay Leno

"Things aren't going that well for bin Laden. Intelligence experts say he's lost much of his power over al Qaeda. But it turns out, he got one of the subprime loans years ago. He could lose the cave." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”