The elf didn't work -- let's try Santa (I am never gonna hear the end of this)

After firing Attorney General Jeff Sessions, I read that President Trump might replace him with Chris Christie. Christie was so excited, he tore his apron off at Jersey Mike's and yelled, "I quit!" That's right -- Trump might replace Jeff Sessions with Chris Christie. Apparently, Trump was like, "The elf didn't work -- let's try Santa." --Jimmy Fallon

A woman in Australia just gave birth to a 12-pound baby without any pain meds. Her doctor said, "You were amazing," while the baby was like, "I am never gonna hear the end of this." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”