Tuesday, December 3, 2019

My Ruff Time in the Trump White House (Wait, does chili count?)

“Although it’s kind of funny: Trump didn’t touch Conan
during the visit; he just kept his arms at his sides. But the
vice president, Mike Pence, is giving him a friendly pet,
the whole thing. It was nice. It was nice to see Trump’s
dogs playing together, it really was.” --Jimmy Kimmel
“He was actually so well behaved during the Oval Office
appearance that Mike Pence gave him a treat afterward.
Not the dog — Donald Trump.” --James Corden
[Imitating Trump] I love this type of dog — it’s a special
type, a certain type. My third favorite after hot and corn.
Wait, does chili count?” --Stephen Colbert
“The president gave Conan the dog a plaque, which I’m
sure he will treasure, and presented Conan with a medal.
You know what kind of medal the president gives a dog?
The medal of fleadom.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“Conan knew exactly what was going on, which is why
the dog has released the memoir: ‘A-paw-lling: My Ruff
Time in the Trump White House — He’s Not a Good Boy’
by Conan T. Herodog.” --Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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