“Today was the first time in over 20 years that Congress has held a public impeachment hearing. And if this one is anything like the last one, Trump will be impeached, then be acquitted in the Senate, and then in 20 years, his wife will lose an election to some idiot.” --Seth Meyers
“There’s no way you were too busy to watch. Trump watches T.V. all the time. I’m shocked there wasn’t a T.V. next to him while he was answering that question.” --Seth Meyers
“President Trump criticized the use of outside counsel for questioning at today’s impeachment hearing, saying, ‘I see they’re using lawyers that are television lawyers. They took some guys off television.’ Which is ironic, because Trump would love to take one of his lawyers off television.” --Seth Meyers
“A good criminal would call and say, ‘Are you alone?’ Trump would say, ‘Are you alone? If not, go find some people to stand next to. Put me on speaker phone — this is a doozy.’” --Seth Meyers
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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