And now, they are coming for your Social Security (but why is it 3,000 degrees?)

Yesterday it was revealed that Donald Trump’s personal attorney, Michael Cohen, who made a $130,000 payment to Stormy Daniels, had received half a million dollars from a Russian businessman with ties to Vladimir Putin. This story sounds like a word problem you’d see on a math test: If Michael Cohen received $500,000 from the Russians, but only gave $130,000 to Stormy Daniels, how many years does Michael spend in jail? --James Corden

A Colorado woman was tracked down by police after blowing up a microwave at 7-Eleven. Now, that’s not the crazy part — she did it while trying to heat a cup of urine. I sympathize with this woman, I know how it can be in the morning. I mean, don’t even talk to me until I’ve had my first cup of urine. --James Corden

Police found the woman at a nearby clinic where she was planning to take a drug test for a potential job. Imagine being the person testing this urine. “No signs of marijuana, but why is it 3,000 degrees?” --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”