“Dr. Oz, urged fans on Saturday to contact 10 people on Sunday before the Steelers game. OK, one problem: the Steelers did not play on Sunday. Kind of important in Pennsylvania. That’s a big mistake. But then again, maybe he was just confusing the Steelers with his hometown team, the Newark … airports? The Jersey … turnpikes? Even more troubling for Oz was Oprah’s endorsement of his rival: ‘If I lived in Pennsylvania, I would’ve already cast my vote for John Fetterman for many reasons.’ And one of those reasons is that Dr. Oz also starts sentences with ‘if I lived in Pennsylvania’.” —Stephen Colbert
“These are turbulent times for Twitter under new owner Elon Musk, who fired half of Twitter’s staff over the weekend. The Tesla CEO has also rolled out a plan to make up lost revenue by charging $8 a month for a blue checkmark. Now that seems pretty steep for something that’s always been free, but it is a value. Not only would you get a blue checkmark, but it would verify that you’re dumb enough to give $8 to the richest man who’s ever lived.” —Stephen Colbert
“The real reason Republicans want power is to rig future elections and install permanent one-party rule. And that’s not just me saying that. Republicans are saying that. They are saying it in public, out in the open for everyone to hear. Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate Tim Michels, has promised that Republicans ‘will never lose another election in Wisconsin after I’m elected governor’. That wasn’t even a secret confession caught on hidden camera at a private event. He said that at a public campaign stop. It used to be that when you caught politicians confessing to something this scandalous, it would be on grainy black-and-white footage on a hotel security camera. Now they just yell it into a microphone like Michael Buffer before a boxing match.” —Seth Meyers
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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