Congrats Elise! I heard the president dropped your name (because that is where I keep most of my stuff)

“I’m in a very good mood, the kind you get when you find a dollar on the sidewalk, or you realize that our children may not be doomed to a fiery hellscape. The pep in my step is largely because this weekend, Senate Democrats finally passed a bill to fight climate change. Finally! Thank God we’re going to at least try to save the planet, because that is where I keep most of my stuff.” —Stephen Colbert

“The Inflation Reduction Act, passed 51-50 with a tie-breaking vote by Vice-President Kamala Harris, apportions nearly $400 Billion over 10 years in tax credits aimed at steering consumers to electric vehicles, with the goal of cutting emissions by about 40%. So from now on we’re putting only good things into the air, like donut-flavored vape smoke.” —Stephen Colbert

“It will also make good on Democrats’ years-long pledge to reduce prescription drug costs for the elderly. That is good news for the elderly, or as Chuck Grassley and Dianne Feinstein call them, ‘those damn kids!’” —Stephen Colbert

“In other news, the New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman provided evidence to support a previous story that Donald Trump tried to flush shreds of White House documents down the toilet. Over the weekend, Haberman revealed photos from a White House source revealing scraps of paper at the bottom of a toilet bowl. To be fair, it’s unclear if those are official White House documents or his toilet’s suicide note, although the papers did appear to have Trump’s Sharpie handwriting, as well as the name ‘Stefanik’ written on them (as in the Republican congresswoman Elise Stefanik of New York). Congrats Elise! I heard the president dropped your name.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”