if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! (At this point, who even remembers who owned who?)

"Today in Philadelphia, Barack Obama gave a major speech on race in America. I'm sorry, but I believe we solved racism in America when Rosa Parks drove that bus to Congress. Okay, have we forgotten so soon? Come on, it's been hundreds of years. At this point, who even remembers who owned who?" --Stephen Colbert

The National Parks Service is so desperate for cash that they just announced that, for the first time, they are going to solicit corporate sponsorship. Pretty soon, those sequoias could be brought to you by Viagra. Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack! –Stephen Colbert

"We're still on the road to World War III. Things were looking a little grim last week – all those countries pressuring us to call for an immediate cease-fire, but we stayed strong. Sure, we sent over Condi Rice to negotiate, but she's not there for a cease-fire. No, she's there for 'sustainable cease-fire,' which considering the Middle East, is like sending her to bring back Jimmy Hoffa on a unicorn." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”