I wouldn't last an hour if I had to answer the phone here (Forget my first term. I was on crack)

April 2014

"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is running for re-election, and he's got a catchy campaign slogan: 'Forget my first term. I was on crack.'" –David Letterman

"Vladimir Putin said he thinks that President Obama would save him if he were drowning. Then President Obama said, 'There's only one way to find out.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"This weekend over 37,000 people went to Denver to participate in the 4th annual Cannabis Cup. And they all made memories that would last a few minutes." –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”