I saw the Phillie Phanatic with his head off, and I freaked out (Somebody owes Saddam Hussein an edible arrangement)

May 2022

“During a speech in Dallas on Wednesday, former President George W. Bush misspoke while talking about Russia’s war in Ukraine, referring to it as ‘a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq.’ Maybe Bush is going to start admitting to everything he’s been holding back: [imitating Bush] ‘Also, I just want to say: My grandkids are the ones who paint the watercolors; Dick Cheney is a Terminator sent from the future; and there are no human-animal hybrids. I saw the Phillie Phanatic with his head off, and I freaked out.’” —Stephen Colbert

“And we’ve actually acquired Dubya’s PowerPoint on how elections work. Step one: get fewer votes than your opponent. Step two: have the supreme court hand it to you.” —Stephen Colbert

“Iraq too, heh? That is a refreshingly lighthearted confession to war crimes. I guess we should call off the search for WMDs at this point. Somebody owes Saddam Hussein an edible arrangement.” —Stephen Colbert

“Bush accidentally admitting the invasion of Iraq was ‘wholly unjustified and brutal’ left me stunned. I really am certain that clip was designed in a lab to melt the brains of anyone who was alive in 2003. Back then if you had called the invasion of Iraq brutal and unjustified, the Bush administration and Fox News would’ve spent an entire week calling you a traitor and anytime you went to the airport the TSA would’ve given you the full cavity search.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”