“I also know that nobody believes her excuse, right? That she accidentally took her grandfather’s heart medication, but I do. I believe her, because I know what it was like growing up me and my family — we always had a big bowl of loose pills all mixed together. It’s an easy mistake to make.” — Trevor Noah, on the Russian Olympic skater Kamila Valieva testing positive for a banned substance called trimetazidine
“She tested positive for three substances that can be used to treat heart problems. Imagine how devastating that must be: You train your whole life to be in the Olympics, follow all the rules, put in all the hours, eat the right things. Last minute, you accidentally take your grandfather’s heart medicine.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“No one is focusing on the fact that her grandpa took her medication, now he’s dominating bingo at the old folks home.” — Trevor Noah
“But again, I’m not saying Russia did it on purpose; I’m not saying that. I’m just saying don’t be shocked when later this week they use 15-year-olds to invade Ukraine.” — Trevor Noah
“Her lawyer said maybe her grandfather drank something from a glass, saliva got in and this glass was somehow later used by the athlete. Ah, the old ‘must be from Grandpa’s saliva’ defense, huh?’” —Jimmy Kimmel
“We’ve all shared a big, wet cup of water with Granddad, haven’t we?” —Jimmy Kimmel
“I think the real question is, how much of your grandfather’s saliva are you coming in contact with and why?” —Jimmy Kimmel
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
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