Everyone gets all paranoid and tries to secede (See? I'm making things better already)

July 2013

"Political experts say that Eliot Spitzer's decision to return to politics could hurt Anthony Weiner's chances of becoming mayor. Or as Spitzer put it, 'See? I'm making things better already.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama's approval rating is down to 44 percent. You can tell Obama's getting desperate because today he gave a speech entitled 'Hey, guys, the Twinkie is coming back next week.'" –Conan O'Brien 

"Residents of northeast Colorado, which is much more rural than the rest of the state, don't think they're properly represented so they want to break the state into two pieces. This is what happens when you legalize marijuana. Everyone gets all paranoid and tries to secede." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"The idea is to divide Colorado into two states, and they want to call the new state North Colorado. If you're going to go to the trouble of creating a new state, give it a cool name like Danger Zone, or Colorado 2: The Reckoning." –Jimmy Kimmel

"They have about as much chance of seceding from Colorado as Chucky has to secede from Cheese." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”